Armed with our newly found gusto for putting ourselves out there, my friend and I signed up to a speed dating event. The selling point of speed dating was very appealing after weeks on the dating apps, swiping right, swiping left, chatting with nice guys, weirdos, and everything in between. Meeting single people in person and having a quick convo with them?! What’s THAT like??
Because I’d gone on a date the week before, I was feeling more relaxed about the speed dating thing. So relaxed that I had a ‘light’ dinner at Din Tai Fung, a sure sign that anxiety was nowhere present. Ms. appetite’s in town!
The bar is a club on Fridays, but today, it was a venue where large couches were spread all over. We got some drinks before the event started and chatted with a friendly tall bloke. A few minutes later, we took our places (us 15 ladies). The guys were asked to sit beside the ladies and when the whistle blew, the 4 minute quick chats commenced.
The whole thing flew by rather quickly! It was a mixed bag of guys, all shapes and sizes, ethnicities, and interesting jobs. I do like that we were sat beside each other, rather than across. My key takeaways:
- BE YOURSELF AND HAVE FUN. My mantra throughout the evening! And this served me well. I enjoyed myself, despite not having any matches at the end of the event. Going with a friend also helped tremendously.
- I met some people who I might’ve swiped left if I’d seen them on the app. It was a good reminder to keep an open mind about everyone, and not be too quick to judge (well, perhaps the point is not to judge at all).
- In a way, it felt like a work networking event, but with a subtle flirty vibe. Thinking about it this way made me relax and eased the pressure.
- Interestingly, most if not all the people we spoke with were frustrated about online dating. It felt good knowing that most people feel the same way. I wished I’d also spoken with the other ladies to see what their experience was like.
- Speed dating is a good test of how good one’s small talk game is. I did a bit of research on questions to ask in the 4 minutes, but it’s actually quite tricky to ask questions which didn’t seem too out of the blue. Asking about one’s job was a good convo starter for some and not for others (there was one guy who was quite sarcastic in his answer to the question, “what do you do?”). Instead of asking ‘where are you from originally?’, I think ‘tell me about where you grew up’ sounds a bit more appropriate.
- As per usual, some guys looooved the sound of their voice and didn’t have any follow up questions. Oh well. In person, on line… same difference!
- I didn’t have a pen and paper during the event, so I remembered only a few things about the people I met! Lesson learned for next time!
Adventures in Dating 